the online babysitting scam I just barely avoided

While I wouldn’t normally use this platform to write about an online scam, I feel that as a victim of it I should share my experience because I know plenty of my friends that use as a reputable site to find babysitting jobs. This post has nothing against, in fact it is because of a notice that they published that my dad and I realized what was going on.

I’ve been a member of for a couple months and don’t use it very often because my availability isn’t very open. That being said, I’ve been contacted a couple times via text or email from people on the site about jobs, which is why when I was contacted by “Marilyn Craig” through text I didn’t think twice about it.

On July 3rd I received a text that said “Hi, I’m Marilyn from Are you available for weekend babysitting? Pay is $18/hour. Kindly send your resume to marilyn’s private email ( for more details.” Now being a broke college kid, $18/hour pay sparked my interest right away and I replied almost immediately with an email:

Hi Marilyn,

I am available Friday through Sunday all day and then Monday through Thursday all I have is class from 10-12:30. My resume doesn’t include prior babysitting experience because I use it for my professional environment, that information is listed on my profile.

I have attached my resume though in case you would still like to see it.


Shelby Tate Major

And then I sent a follow up text saying “I just send you an email! Look forward to hearing from you!” to which I got the reply “thank you i will reply you” (which is the first red flag, the broken english)

Marilyn responded within 30 minutes:

Thanks for replying to my text. My name is Marilyn. I recently moved
from San Diego to Phoenix with my family but i`m relocating to your
area on 24th of July and i will need a nanny for my son immediately.
His name is Joe, 6years old and the time would be from  9am to 4pm
Saturdays and Sundays only. This is a long term position but its fine
to start temporary. Some weekdays are also flexible if you are
available but we may need to discuss that in person. I`m willing to
pay 18/hour. I believe its a great pay and i`m paying that much
because i want quality care for my son. The start date is 26th of
July.I lost my husband and a 4months old baby in January. It was my
late husband`s birthday and he decided to take the kids out while i
was still at work. Joe happens to be the only survival from the
accident but he currently uses a wheelchair. I have had terrible times
in the last few months and this is one of the reasons i have decided
to move because staying here brings back some sad memories. Kindly be
honest if you have experience with childcare because i want the best
care for Joe. 

I`m hard of hearing and can only communicate via writing, reading lips or text messaging. I hope that isn`t a problem? I`m easy going and love to laugh. I can send you a picture of me and joe in my next email.It will be nice to read about you. I want a nanny who is willing to be a friend and family. Please note that i have a few applicants for this position but i made you our first choice so i wouldn’t appreciate a waste of time. Make sure to include your complete name, address including zipcode and cell phone number in your response so i could check the map to read the distance between us also to have your address on file. You may ask questions in case you have any. I await your quick response.

Thank you!

Receiving this detailed email right away made me assume that I was dealing with a very particular situation and that Marilyn was genuinely going through some hard times and needed help. Being the caring, somewhat naive, person I am, I didn’t think to question the situation, or the fact that she asked for my address. I replied with my own email about my babysitting personality, something parents often ask for when hiring a sitter online.

Thank you so much for responding so quickly and thoroughly!
On my I have two locations listed, I am only in Wilmington until July 24th and then I move back to Charlotte until August 20th when I leave to go abroad.
I’m not sure what area you are moving to so I understand if this doesn’t
fit your needs. I will tell you a little about myself regardless in case it does work!

[Here is where I put my name, address, and phone number]

I’m very sorry for your loss but you sound like you’re handling it well.
I do have a lot of childcare experience with all ages but I do not have
any experience in childcare with him being in a wheelchair. If that is a
deal breaker I understand but I am very willing to learn.

I am currently a student at UNCW but I grew up in Charlotte. I am
studying recreation management with a concentration in non profit
because ultimately I want to work for non profits specializing in hunger
and education around the world. I’ve volunteered at the Boys and Girls club as well as tutoring for Cornelius Elementary while I was still in high school.
As a babysitter I really try to keep a positive and creative environment.
I’m not a particularly big fan of letting the kids I babysit just watch tv. I
like to bring arts and crafts, play games outside things like that. I really enjoy babysitting and I am still in close contact with all the families I have worked for.

I would love to see a picture of y’all! There are pictures on my site but if you would like I can send you one of myself as well.

She replied with

Thank you for your email. Here is my own address 839 Scaleybark Rd,
Charlotte, NC. We are moving in on 24th of July. The sitting could be
in our place but if you want Joe at your place, I wouldn’t have any
problem dropping him. You re free to do outdoors if you wish. I
suggest that we meet on Friday 25th before you start working and we
can talk on your schedule. That way we can get to know each other in
person and share some interest about ourselves and the babysitting
activities. As said in my previous email, the last couple of months
hasn’t been good and i wouldn’t want to get stocked with my Son on
arrival so i`m willing to make a deposit to you ahead of time to
ensure a secured appointment to avoid disappointment. The total cost
of your pay per weekend is $252($18/hour x 7hours/day = $126/day x
2days). I hope i can issue your first week deposit check with the
below information.

[Here was the information I had given before; name, address, phone number]

Kindly let me know if everything is clear so i may proceed. Also
attached is a picture of me and Joe. Do have a great day ahead and i
await your quick response.

Thank you!

I started to sense that things were a little strange. She didn’t seem to be worried that I wasn’t going to be in Charlotte long, when initially she was looking for a “long term position”. Also, the idea that someone would pay me before even meeting with me to see if I was a real person seemed strange in this day and age. I chalked it all up to she had been burned before and was frazzled by the move and continued communicating with her.

I know you said you were looking for something long term but I am leaving in August to study abroad for the semester. When I come back I will be returning to Wilmington. I would love to help you out until you find a more permanent sitter. If that works for you I can meet on the 25th!



Good Morning Shelby,

Thank you for your prompt response and i`m glad that we re on the samepage and we will meet around 6pm on Friday and i want you to know that you can be working with me temporary till when you want to leave the town in August and i want you to know that am sending you the first week payment to secure the job. I have made arrangement to get Joe a powered wheelchair and i got a cheaper one in Sacramento so i`m
wondering if i could have the seller deliver it to you so you can help
pay on delivery. The wheelchair cost 2523 so i will be sending you a
check to cover your first weekend deposit and the cost of the chair so
you can take out your deposit and pay the cost of the wheelchair to
the seller on delivery and we will follow you to pick the chair after
our meeting on Friday. Please understand the aim of having you
purchase the wheelchair is to ensure the wheelchair is available for
Joe on arrival. The wheelchair isn’t assembled yet. Its still packed
in pieces so its not big at all. Due to her condition, i wouldn’t want
any delay with the arrangement of the chair so you can let me know if
everything is clear.I await your email so i can proceed to mailing
your check on Next week.Happy sunday

Thank you!

After this red flags were going off right and left. I called my dad and explained the situation to him and forwarded him all of the emails thus far. It was not only strange that she would be trusting a complete stranger with this amount of money but the language she used, as well as calling her son Joe “her” was strange. I still was not 100% sure it was a scam though because how could it be if she was giving me money right? My dad told me to hold off on responding to her until he looked over it further. After a couple of hours of not responding I got a text message from the number she initially contacted me on. “Good Morning,This is Marilyn,i just sent you an email please kindly check your mail and get back to me.Thank you” My dad told me to tell her he wanted to attend the meeting with us and see if that deterred her at all.

Ok 6pm on the 25th works, my dad would like to come as well. The package will be sent to his house so he will take care of it all because I won’t be back yet.

This was the longest amount of time she had taken to respond but eventually she answered. It is said on to ask questions. Instead of being afraid of being rude or bothering them with useless questions suggest solutions (writing two checks instead of one in my case).  They also said to listen to the words. Many scammers use the same email format (there is a chain of emails for each reply and they stick to that chain-none of the emails are personalized) so try to throw them off by having “something suddenly come up.” If they completely ignore your reply in the next email and re-send the instructions again, you know you are dealing with a scammer. It seemed that I had thrown her off by asking about my father, causing a delay in the reply but at this point we had not read the information on about scams so we proceeded. She got right back down to business when she did eventually respond, talking about the check once again.

Thank you for your prompt response and for your concern about me and
my family and no problem your dad can come along.i will let you know
as soon as i mail the and Joe cant wait to meet you.

I did not respond and the next day received this.

Morning Shelby.

I hope you are doing great. Sorry for the silence. I have been pretty
much engaged with moving arrangement but i was about to mail your
check last night via FedEx and the tracking number 770568452817 and
its on way to you this morning or must have delivered to you should
try to check your mail or front door. The check was made in the amount
of 2775.90. Kindly proceed to your bank to have it deposited into
your account and keep me posted when its deposited to ensure the funds
are processed for the wheelchair purchase.

Thank you and do have a great day!

P.S My other phone fell and the phone got broken last night but i will
be texting you from my other number ok?


After a few hours of me not responding because I was busy I received a text message “Hi,I sent you an email regarding the payment mailed. Kindly check your email and keep me posted as soon as you receive and deposit the check this morning. My other phone fell yesterday and i cant read text but this is my other cell and you can always text me here.” At this point I got a phone call from my dad telling me to cut off the arrangement, he sent all the information from and I read over it before talking to Marilyn again. I replied saying I would not be able to proceed with the job and to please redirect the wheelchair and void the check to which I got the reply “ok”.

Here is the information we found online about the so called overpayment scam that helped us to realize what we were dealing with.

Online scammers will email care providers saying that they are writing from overseas and need a babysitter for an upcoming trip to the United States. Once the babysitting schedule and price has been secured, the person tells you that they will send a check for a pay deposit (your pay for babysitting). The check, however, has extra money attached to it because the person would like you to buy the children some toys at a specific store before the family arrives. The person asks you to deposit your half of the payment in your checking account at an ATM and take out the remaining money to bring to the designated store. It has already been arranged that the manager (an accomplice to the crime) will send the children the toys after receiving the payment from you.As innocent as this email seems, this scam is detrimental to you. In reality, you have inadvertently cashed a stolen or bogus check into your bank account and you will be responsible for fees associated with this type of fraud. You could be guilty of money laundering, passing a counterfeit check, or worse.

It says to look for “not A+ language”, someone using wrong tenses or mixing up words. I used the original emails in this post, not changing the format or language at all. Initially I chalked up her strange language to the fact that she was hard of hearing. Which was also a reason I didn’t suggest a phone or Skype meeting before our actual in person meeting.
They say to watch the tone, Marilyn seemed to get impatient as I tried to work out details or if I took longer than a few hours to respond to an email I received a follow up text message. She was always inquiring about when she could send the check. In reality, she had already sent the check because we received it at my dad’s house the morning that he told me to cut off ties with her. My dad tracked the check and it was sent from Hawaii, was from a bank in California but Marilyn had said she was from Arizona.
Finally it says to avoid sympathy and don’t let the sob story affect your judgement. I was hesitant to question anything because I thought it made me a bad person to second guess someone who had gone through so much tragedy. That’s exactly what they want and I fell 100% into their trap.


Luckily for me I trusted my instincts that something was fishy and went to my dad. That’s my biggest recommendation if you think this is happening to you or if you are unsure. Ask the opinions of people you trust, and if you are still unsure take it to the police and see what they think. It’s unfortunate that you have to think the worst of a situation to avoid being scammed but in the end it was worth it because I didn’t go through with it.

Here is the post that helped us realize what was going on


The Giving Tree


 All I have to give you
is all you’ll ever need
& all I ask of you
is give what you receive



The Giving Tree was a project designed to promote positivity with intention. Like most of my projects it is centered on optimism but the main focus for this was the intent behind it. I wasn’t standing there engaging in conversation and encouraging people to take or write an inspirational “leaf”. It is up to each individual to take hold of their life and choose to participate in something new, something that they are unsure of, but are going to take the chance to stop and look anyways. I’m a big believer that something as little as words on a paper can change a whole day because it’s the love behind it that really matters. Taking a piece of paper off a tree is one thing, but choosing to give that quote to someone who needs it, or writing your own for some stranger to take is not only creating your own happiness but sharing it.


The feedback so far has been great and I can’t wait to see how it continues to grow!

@katie__mac “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Live & learn. Grow from your downfalls, keep on pushing. Your lowest point can be a blessing in disguise.” Everyone go get some inspiration today & leave some for someone else! #thegivingtree #thepassionproject

1926889_10203493784888280_279339296_n                                     6994_10203493784288265_1457237329_n

@emilyannolds This is an amazing idea, and completely                         @haleycox_ Happy Monday
brightened my day. #thepassionproject

1618456_10203493781008183_1393451616_n@madzzzzzzb Monday morning inspiration! Go check out the giving tree. #thepassionproject
@bbethyy #repost Inspiration from my schools giving tree! I definitely needed this, this morning! #thegivingtree

@haleighbaxter The Giving Tree: all I have to give you is all you’ll ever need and all I ask of you is give what you receive #thepassionproject #mondayinspiration #gogetitseahawks #dobo

Happiness held is the seed, happiness shared is the flower


Maybe I’m crazy and maybe I’m dead wrong in your eyes, but the millennials are not the worst generation. We need to stop looking at it in terms of best and worst, each generation has strengths and weaknesses and it’s time we started looking at it as such. Think about pooling our resources, we’re supposed to learn from the past; what worked and what didn’t work and figure out how to make it better. Why do we focus on the bad? Why does Selena Gomez get more attention for her 2 week rehab stint than for all her work with UNICEF? Why has Miley Cryus’ body made it in the news more than Sophia Bush’s crusade for better body image?

If I’m being honest I don’t understand why millennials are so bad. Yes, we take selfies and we have snapchat and instagram all feeding into some type of narcissistic idea of beauty, but just as easily as it can be used to promote edited versions of beauty, we can reshape it into confidence and loving the way you look just the way you are. Yes, we have an obesity problem but we also have a generation of growing vegetarianism, locally grown organic food and more options at a majority of restaurants. Yes, we are constantly on our iPhones and watching Netflix but that’s our means of communication. We can come to a conclusion in 140 characters and when we don’t know the answer to something we google it, that minute, to figure it out. We have endless amounts of documentaries at our fingertips on Netflix; Blackfish exposing animal injustices, Hungry for Change exposing the negative effects of our dietary habits, Happy about positive psychology, shoot even Katy Perry overcoming her obstacles. People say we’re the worst generation and they point to people like Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan, but that’s exactly what’s wrong with the world. They focus on the Biebers and give TV shows to the Kardashians all the while ignoring the Malalas and discontinuing The Buried Life. Now I’m not saying I’m anywhere near the bravery and activism of Malala but I think a reality show on The Passion Project would be a lot more beneficial than The Real World. Sure gets a lot of hits, but there’s also and Soul Pancake that have the chance to be just as popular. So just because you don’t see all the good that’s going on in the world doesn’t mean it’s not there. Maybe that’s the bigger issue here, that instead of focusing on all the good that’s out there and promoting it, we’ve been focusing on all the things we’re doing wrong. America should be looked at like a student; you have to recognize the weaknesses and encourage the strengths.

“If you compare this generation, they’re not willing to settle for something they’re not interested or passionate about. They’d rather have a lower-paying job. They would take a pay cut to do work they care about.” (Schwabel, How to Retain Your Millenial Workers) Does that make us wrong? I’d rather have a generation of kids looking for their true passion than a generation that’s only focus was making money. And maybe you think it’s reversed but all I see in the generation above me is unhappiness.  We are currently enduring the worst congress in American history and it’s full of baby boomers. It’s a generation that resulted in marriages that end in divorce half the time and they are these are the people that raised us. Now I love my daddy more than anything, he is my role model. But one day he said something about why I think it would be the worst thing ever to end up like him. I don’t think that, I respect him and if I even turned out to be half the person he is I’d be a pretty damn good person. He works for a huge corporation and he makes good money but he doesn’t love his job, it drains him. He comes home exhausted and because he’s good at what he does he gets more work and more work. Yes, he moves his way up the corporate ladder but is it bad that it’s not what I want? I will put 100% into my job but I want to be doing something I love. And for some reason people think that’s crazy. I want to have PASSION in my life, I want to stand for something greater than myself, I want to change the world and most importantly, I know I can. Maybe it’s stupid of me to say that I will choose a job that I will love when unemployment is so high. Maybe I’m selfish for saying I don’t want to have kids until I have a career and even then maybe I won’t have kids. Maybe we should just stop forcing our own opinions on other people and let them get married young or old or not at all. Our generation needs work, but so does every generation before us. We need to work on focusing on the positive and instead of writing so many articles on what’s wrong with us and what’s wrong with them, why can’t we see what worked for all and try and recreate it.

I got a tattoo on my forearm, in a very visible place, and I can’t tell you how many of my friend’s dads (including my own father) disapproved based on the fact that I would not get a job because of it. Now, not to toot my own horn but I’ve got a pretty good resume and a damn good work ethic, so if I don’t get a job because of my tattoo is that a problem with my generation or something else entirely? We’re reshaping the business world and it has to adapt with us. That’s the way the world works, so instead of putting it down because the Baby Boomers are our bosses and they don’t agree with us, it’s time to compromise. “Half of the members of Gen Y surveyed said they would “rather have no job than a job they hate.” Among the top options for job desirability, “loving what I do” outranked salaries and big bonuses. If not money, what do millennials want most? The vast majority (83%) are “looking for a job where my creativity is valued,” while more than 9 in 10 millennials are “motivated to work harder when I know where my work is going” and want supervisors, managers, and executives to listen to their ideas.” (Schwabel, Millennials vs. Baby Boomers: Who Would You Rather Hire?) If these two generations can work together and appreciate the opinions of one another we can increase productivity in the work place and avoid the comparisons of better and worse.

I had such a hard time writing this article because my mind is going a million miles a minute. I have a TSM article on why we need a kick in the ass, a TIME magazine article on Boomers vs Millenials, an article on millennials being the new hippies and Facebook and Twitter all pulled up on my computer. The ADD is so real in this moment and it is the definition of my generation. I’m sitting here listening to The Beatles on the record player I got for Christmas and if you think I’m a rarity for doing so, think again. Go to Urban Outfitters and you’ll see record players and The Beatles memorabilia. See the similarities in our generations? We appreciate good music but I gotta say I can kick it to some One Direction too. I have a dream, and yes I just said that, that one day we’ll stop comparing everyone to one another. Generation vs generation, person vs person, country vs country. We will work together to end social injustices, equal rights for all, an end to modern day slavery, an acceptance of different cultures, an exploration of lives beyond our own and most importantly a passion to live a life without complacency. I GUESS WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS DITCH THE NEGATIVITY AND FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. WHEN WE BREATHE IT ALL IN AND LOVE IT ALL OUT WE CHANGE THE WORLD AROUND US AND WHEN ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE LOVING INSTEAD OF JUDGING WE’LL LEARN HOW TO FIX THIS.

Now watch this video and you’ll see what fired me up in the first place.

Kahlil Gibran; On Reason and Passion

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite.
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing; And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.

Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows — then let your heart say in silence, “God rests in reason.”
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky — then let your heart say in awe, “God moves in passion.
And since you are a breath in God’s sphere, and a leaf in God’s forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.


Recently I’ve been reading a lot of articles, as they get shared on Facebook or posted on twitter titles like 25 things every woman needs to know  or 6 things happy people never do capture my attention. Each titles intrigues me as I strive for the information to lead a better life. I’ve realized that it’s my turn to weigh in on something I think is important, KNOWING THE VALUE of things. Too often we place too much emphasis on unimportant things and not enough emphasis on the good stuff, or the stuff we don’t even realize is the good stuff. 


know the value of ALONE TIME; quiet moments of meditation, inner reflection, prayer, these things should happen daily but they too easily get pushed aside by more pressing matters. Getting to know yourself in these quiet moments of solitude help you stand your ground in moments of uncertainty and can help you collect yourself when the world seems like too much.

know the value of SELFLESS ACTS; not for good karma, not because you feel bad for passing the homeless man without so much as a glance in his direction, but because the world needs people who will selflessly give and expect nothing in return.

know the value of READING; whether it be the newspaper or a romance novel, reading can help you get lost in something else, it’s an often overlooked hobby with essentially no downsides.

know the value of CAPTURING BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS through pictures rather than planning picture perfect moments; instagram can wait and yes if you didn’t insta it it did still happen.

know the value of EYE CONTACT; people spend so much time with their heads down they forget to really look at people and appreciate them for who they are.

know the value of a SMILE; not a smirk, a full tooth, bright eyed smile at a total stranger.

know the value of SETTING GOALS and accomplishing them; goals are great to set and even better to actually complete. Go small with daily goals, go big with long term plans, be manageable or outlandish, but don’t neglect to set them.

know the value of FEAR; it’s normal, we all have it, embrace the feeling and acknowledge what it is that’s scaring you and just as important as embracing it is disregarding it when the moment calls for it.

know the value of a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE rather than weight loss; no one has ever said “I wish I hadn’t worked out this morning” or “Thank goodness I chose the cheeseburger over those vegetables.” Do it because it makes you feel better and live a longer, happier life, not because you want to look like someone else.

know the value of MAKING THINGS HAPPEN instead of waiting for them to happen to you; there is so much value in grabbing life by the horns and steering it in the direction you want it to go.

know the value of a BIKE RIDE or a walk through your city; there’s something so exhilarating about a bike ride as the sun comes up that can’t be felt through the bulk of a car.

know the value of POSITIVITY; what you put out in the world will ultimately come back to you. Bypass the self criticism and judgement and choose compassion and a positive outlook on life. By choosing happiness and kindness you are choosing a better life.

know the value of PASSION; your life is gonna be pretty dull if you don’t love what you do, who is in it and how you live it. When you’re passionate about something, the rest just kind of falls into place.

As I wrap this up you should know that there are days when I take all of these for granted too. The point isn’t to make you feel bad for forgetting the little stuff, it’s to remind you to conscientiously make the effort to find the value in each moment. Be present in each aspect of your life and embrace and appreciate it as it happens. You can choose one thing on the list that resonates with you or ten, but each day vow to find the value in something you overlooked before. Make your own list, share it with friends, hide it under your pillow, but KNOW THE VALUE every single day. Reward yourself when it’s resulted in a positive lifestyle change and reflect when it’s done the opposite. But NEVER be complacent with your life, there is always room for improvement and always a moment to be valued. 


-Stephanie Dowrick